

[ important info first:

    people involved with this production:

      sTOR hAMZTER - music, art, design, voice expressions

   Den Store Elgen - pizza, screaming, watching, moral support! Hi!
       ^^ this dude made the bike-crash-sound in paperroach! thanx again!

             Piffi - code, art, more screaming, additional design,
                     writing this boring file, file_id.diz?

       Bill Gates  - without you, I'd never know what happened
                     when I do an INT 21!


       and everything is a fetish mixung of rECTUM cAUDA?!?@$"#&
]




 Exactly on the day, seven months after Piffi zipped down the source code
 for SAND2, the source code for Sand 3 is finally put to a rest
 in a corner of a Maxtor harddisk.
     [note.. final version was mekket on though later yesyes]

 Now SAND3 is available in any store, almost, and upload everywhere..
 ..men frst... et utdrag fra Donald Duck & Co., nr. 17, 1991, 44. rgang.
 (kr. 11,20,-)


      Donald Duck  - TurboPropKamelen

   Donald: Endelig fr du napp p annonsen din om kjp av kamel, onkel Skrue.
   Skrue:  Jeg er bare interessert hvis den er forbrukervennlig. Jeg vil
           tilby de beskende rideturer p den.
   Aliali: Da behver du ikke lete lenger.
           Dette urvennlige dyret er s snilt at det ikke vifter vekk
           fluer en gang!
           Tusen kroner er rene rverkjpet!

   Skrue:  Den virker temmelig makelig..
   Donald: Du har kjpt en kamel s dorsk at den har lagt seg til  snorksove!
   Kamel:  Z!
   Aliali: S sant som det er sagt!
    (skifter plutselig om til Gulbrand Grstein)
   Grstein:
           Ha, ha, ha! N lurte jeg deg godt! Jeg har solgt en helt
           ubrukelig kamel til deg! Den sover dgnet rundt!
   Donald & Skrue: Gulbrand Grstein!
   Kamel:  Z!
   Skrue:  Et dovendyr med pukler! (stnn!)
           Jeg kan ikke tilby rideturer p den!
   Donald: La meg puste liv i skinnfellen!
   Kamel:  ZZZ!
   Donald: Hypp, min ganger!
   Skrue:  Det er nyttelst, er jeg redd. Rart at Gulbrand fikk den til 
           g helt hit, forresten.
   Unge:   Puuust... SMAKK!
   Kamel:  Bliiiih!
   Skrue:  Den galoppen ! Det hadde jeg ikke drmt om!
   Aliali2: Jeg har aldri sett maken til rask kamel! Er den din?
   Skrue:  M-m!
   Aliali2: Om en uke gr den rlige Kamel-galoppen av stabelen i El Iksir.
            Meld kamelen din p!
   Donald:  Kamelveddelp, mener du? Er det mye  tjene p det?
   aliali2: Ikke mer enn en skarve million til vinneren!
            Det viktigste er den evige re og bermmelse du vinner blant
            stammefolkene der ute i demarken!
   Skrue:   Jeg er mer interessert i den skarve millionen! Kamelen min blir
            med p galoppen!
            Tenk om jeg vant en million med kamelen Gulbrand solgte meg
            for en tusenlapp! Banditten ville ikke overleve det!


        [senere]
        Grstein:  Jeg skal vedde p at kamelen ikke har rikket seg en
                   tomme sden jeg lp min vei!
                   Hvor er kamelen? Og hvor er McDuck & Co?
        Vaktmester-dude:  Borte vekk. De forsvant som olja lyn for litt
                          siden.
        Grstein:         Hvor hen?
        Vaktmeister:      McDuck har meldt dyret p et kamelveddelp i
                          demarken!
        Grstein:         Fyren snaker over seg!
        Vakt-duud:        Slett ikke! Kamelen er nemlig lynrask.. og s
                          skvetten at de bestemte seg for  ta bt i stedet
                          for fly - for ikke  skremme den undig!
        Grstein:         Hva i all verden kan Skrue ha gjort med dyret?
                          Men vinner han lpet, blir jeg til latterfor alle
                          forretningsforbindelser.

  [i en havn i sten....]

        Donald:    For en behagelig tur. Kamelen har ikke glttet
                   p yet en gang underveis!
        Gulbrand:  Det er de tre jeg mener! Srg for at de ikke deltar i lpet!
        Donald:    Men...
        Skurk #1:  Inn der, takk!
        Skrue:     Jeg kan tenke meg hvem som str bak!
        Donald:    Er det greit at jeg strekker p beina?
        Skurk #1:  Strekk i vei, smen! He, he!
                   Ingen forlater stedet fr Kamelgaloppen er over! Forsttt?
        Donald:    [tenkeboble: BALLONGER!!]
        Donald:    Pssst! ballonger! Bls opp s mange du orker!
        skurk #2:  Z!
        Donald:    Fort deg!
                   N!
        Skurk #1, #2 og #3:  ?!
        Kamel:     Bliiiiih!
        Skurk #1:  Stans kamelen, murmeldyr!
        Skrue:     Det var ikke smart gjort!
        Skurk #2 og #3: Auu!
        Skurk #1:  !
        Skrue:     Kjr alt du makter, Donald! Vi kan fremdeles n lpet!
        Gulbrand:  Sykmeldt, hele banden! Grrr! Ingen er til  stole p lenger!
                   Skal man f gjort noe, m man gjre det selv!

  [snart - p den smale veien opp il El Iksir...]
        Helikopter:   Motorstopp! Endelig har jeg lykken p min side!
                      He, he!
        Donald:       Den har ftt sammenbrudd! Vi kommer oss ikke videre!
        Kamel:        Z!
        Gulbrand:     De kan ikke kjre lenger... men hva om den gamle
                      stabeisen bestemmer seg for  g videre?
                      Hva er dette? En nedlagt gruve?
                      Nemlig! Og p slike steder kan man finne...
                      ...dynamitt!
                      Dette burde klare seg!
                      Tre-fire dynamittgubber midt i steinrysa, og..
                      ...fjellveien blir ufremkommelig! Jeg sparer en av
                      gubbene for sikkerhets skyld...
        Donald:       Hvem er det som *sprenger* her i demarken?
        Skrue:        Jeg tror jeg vet svaret!
        Kamel:        Bliiih!
        Skrue:        Fjellveien vil bli begravd under flere millioner
                      tonn stein p kort tid!
        Donald:       Hvor skal vi gjre av oss da?
        skrue:        Vi m videre fr det er for sent? !
        Donald:       Gulp!
        Helikopter:   sj! De er fremme i El Iksir snart! Jeg kan ikke
                      hindre dem i  delta i lpet!
        Skrue:        Fortsett frem til startstreken. Lpet gr herfra
                      til nabobyen.
                      Hei sann, Gulbrand! Donald kommer til  vinne med
                      mange kamel-puklers forsprang.
        Gulbrand:     Tror du, ja!
        Skrue:        Skrallet av startpistolen kommer til  vekke
                      kamelen min til dd! Den lper som en vind nr
                      det smeller!
        Aliali3:      Klar til start, mine herrer?
        Donald:       Jeg er klar! Men hvor har du startpistolen?
        Aliali3:      Den bruker vi ikke!
                      Kamelgaloppen i El Iksir er i alle r blitt startet
                      ved hjelp av flagg!
        Donald:       Flagg?! (gulp!)
                      Flagg er s godt som lydlse! Skynd deg og finn
                      noe som sier pang, onkel Skrue!
        Kamel:        Z!
        Gulbrand:     Heh! Dette blir et meget interessant lp!
        Kamel:        Z!
        Gulbrand:     Gi meg en lefse, er du snill!
        Aliali3:      Ferdig.. G!
        Gulbrand:     Ho, ho!
        Skrue:        Lp!
        DOnald:       OPp meg deg!
        Kamel:        Z!
        Gulbrand:     "Lp", sa han! Hi, hi! Han snakker for dve rer!
                      Opps!
        Aliali4:      Hjelp! Dukk, folkens!
        [pang]
        Kamel:        Bliiih!
        Donald:       Snn skal det vre, Lynet!
        [og s...]
        Aliali5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13 og 14: Hurra for vinneren!
        Aliali15:     Er det du som eier det fenommenale dyret?
        Donald:       Hva skjedde med Gulbrand?
        Skrue:        Jeg tr ikke tenke p det!
        Gulbrand:     Det kunne ha endt verre! Her inne hrer jeg i hvert
                      fall ikke den gamle gjerrigknarken skryte av hvor
                      billig han fikk kamelen!
        [p madrassen: Tilhrer El Iksir fengsel]





   Please notice that this extract from Donald Duck shows that
   hindus and camels and things which say BOOM are available
   everywhere, and note that the following registered trademarks(tm)
   belongs to rECTUM cAUDA and its members, somehow, somewhere:

     - Latex(tm)(R)  is (C) a registered trademark of rC(R).
     - Hindu(tm)(R)  is (C) 1991 by sTOR hAMZTER
     - Offsetshaker(tm) is (C) 1996 by Piffi New Technologies Inc.(tm)
     - Hinduflute(R) is a trademark of rECTUM cAUDA sound division inc.
     - Hindu-on-a-carpet (TM!) is patent pending 1996 by rECTUM cAUDA
     - Hazzan Hora & Hasj is copyrighted by rECTUM cAUDA a couple of years ago.
     - Hazzan Hora & Camping is licensed from HinduStan Trading League inc.
     - Mustafa's brukte vinduer og sigarettstumper, dugnadslag, inc.,
       er ikke utlnt av Stavanger Bibliotek.
     - Phonyshading er (C) Piffi og noen i TPF.


   Sand 3 utilizes the following technologies:
     - Textmode splitscreen sinus displacer (C) Piffi
     - Liquidwriter for 0B800h-screens (C) Piffi
     - MikPas UNI GUSkiller is (C) MikMak
     - 100% assembly Trans-suger is (C) Piffi
     - 100% pascal PCX loader is leeched of MAAK's huge storage areas
     - Magic Flying Hindu on a Carpet with built-in keyframer for
       MS Mouse is (C) Piffi and also utilized in RC-Bie.
     - Offsetshaker(tm) by Piffi New Technologies Inc.(tm)
       Previously used in RC-PaperRoach.
     - Wonderful Automatic "Flying-Carpet-with-possible-consumer" detector
       for use with neon-activating commercials! Have a nice day.
     - MagicalHypnoWarez Camping van with logo layer is implemented
       by Piffi, original artwork by sTOR hAMZTER
     - Whizzy RotaZoomaBender with green-on-black # leave is
       created and designed by Piffi, original artwork (C) unknown IP address.
     - Sauer-faller-fra-trr with external keyframer for MS DOS (tm) is
       handcrafted by Piffi on an original idea from sTOR hAMZTER,
       as a way of speaking.
     - 100% assembly PutSprite for Font Systems is a builtin feature
       of Piffi's VGA library.
     - WhackoSoundTerm(inate) is (C) Bugs Bunny, thank you.
     - realtime calculated fadepalette with kashmir-things
       featuring stress pattern marking of whether faded or not
       (you get the point ... jvli stress  g opp der med
       var'ene og skrive ny variabel, det er tungt  vre coder faen
       i huleste)
     - DesspoFlash (tm) aftershave booster for windows 95(tm)
     - Afterburner for MS ASS (tm) after Pizza eating galore.
     - RC World Population '97 is the new wave from rECTUM cAUDA,
       a proposal not yet finished but soon to be available for
       joining on a web page near you!
     - 100% inline assembler ANSI uncruncher implemented by Piffi
       from original technology (not) licensed from TheSoft Programming
       Services.
     - Top Secret Animation Ripoff stimulated by linked, preused,
       code from rest of demo. Don't watch.
     - Piffi's realtime HDD streaming 3d keyframer with Zoffsets
     - Piffi's realtime HDD streaming 3dkey playback with no buffering
     - Piffi's HNZ-engine featuring Multicolored Phonyshading (tm),
       MonoZBuffering and optionally PhonyGlenz, with or without backface
       removal.
     - Dezzpo realtime 4panning combined transmapping with waitretrace!
     - 100%asm vgaburster (32bits optimized for pentium)
       featuring true 16bits pascal intermediate 4-screen panning distribution
     - 200% enhanced whiteflasher integrated into falling-sheep
       innerloop in pure pascal!
     - Speechbubbles are painted pixel by pixel!
     - XLC linker by.. er... well, somehow. You know.
     - Diet Exciting File Compressor by Dr. Teddy, v1.45f
     - mem[$40:$17] technology originally leeched of Turbo pascal 6.0's
       help file but no longer present in today's help files.


    Atter en gang sitter vi i huset, har spist pizza, vil ei ha noen
    geografiprve p torsdag, og ser helst at alle fr Sand i ynene.

    Budskapet skal dog frem i verden,
     uansett hvor De er, finnes det
     alltid en stikkontakt
           som
    De kan plugge Deres laptop i
    og lage moro med rC p hele
                 hotellet.



                                         rECTUM cAUDA viker ikke
                                       for lITEN hAMZTER p heroin,
                                        ei heller noen SPiDER 3l33t,
                                      vi finner ei noen CPS for hy,
                                        men dog kan ei benektes:
                                         ftp skal alltid begjres
                                       vi skal nok en gang ta over
                                         og gi RC-DROL2.ZIP en annen
                                          rating enn [N/A] fordi
                                            vi sier NEI NO NON NICHT
                                      KEIN EIN ICH BIN EIN BERLINERBOLLE

              anyway hamalrakash.

      Bring the family
                 Bring your beauty
     But don't bring your ass up over here

                             Because ST3 will never be released
                  for the public
                       but a beta version
                            and we don't have time for no more
                             but a couple of extra versions
                   to fix the bugs
                     you don't report


          And tsjo-hoo 7800 polys ain't enough well
               play your wasps right and
                never mind if we're talking
                 vertices instead
                  because
                   PHONYSHADING never dies,
                just be a retro - watch sand 2


       Du, prv  save en track i FT2, og hvorfor
           *IKKE RIP .LBM'ene fra FT2.EXE, DET ER SKUMMELT!*
                 du, se p datoen p file_id.diz'en i ft2-dir'et ditt
               og se om du har siste versjon
                     om det du har er alltid siste versjon
                        men ikke vr lur
                  og gjem pornobilder som file_id.diz'er der nei
           vi vil heller ei se misbruk av ZIP-formatet
               det er for gale at vi m inhalere

       * Get More Information About Windows 95 *

For more information about Microsoft Windows 95, take
a look at Microsoft's WinNews file sections, which can
be found on most major online services and networks.

On the Internet use ftp or the World-Wide-Web
(ftp://ftp.microsoft.com/PerOpSys/Win_News,
http://www.microsoft.com).

On The Microsoft Network, open Computers and
Software\Software Companies\Microsoft\Windows 95\
WinNews.

On CompuServe, type GO WINNEWS.

On Prodigy JUMP WINNEWS.

On America Online, use keyword WINNEWS.

On GEnie, download files from the WinNews area under
the Windows RTC.

NEW SERVICE: To receive regular biweekly updates on
the progress of Windows 95, subscribe to Microsoft's
WinNews Electronic Newsletter. These updates are
e-mailed directly to you, saving you the time and
trouble of checking our WinNews servers for updates.

To subscribe to the Electronic Newsletter, send
Internet e-mail to enews@microsoft.nwnet.com with
the words SUBSCRIBE WINNEWS as the only text in your
message.



       rECTUM cAUDA    turnz ELiTE  and we present an excerpt from
         the terrorist's cookbook IV.........

How To Terrorize McDonalds                       by the Jolly Roger
     (Originally an Apple ][ file so excuse the upper case!!!)

NOW, ALTHOUGH Mc DONALDS IS FAMOUS FOR IT'S ADVERTISING AND MAKING THE
WHOLE WORLD THINK THAT THE BIG MAC IS THE BEST THING TO COME ALONG SINCE
SLICED BREAD (BUNS?), EACH LITTLE RESTAURANT IS AS AMATEUR AND SIMPLE AS
A NEW-FOUND BUSNESS. NOT ONLY ARE ALL THE EMPLOYEES RATHER INEXPERIENCED
AT WHAT THEY'RE =SUPPOSED= TO DO, BUT THEY WILL JUST LOOSE ALL CONTROL WHEN
AN EMERGENCY OCCURS....HERE WE GO!!! FIRST, GET A FEW FRIENDS (4 IS
GOOD...I'LL GET TO THIS LATER) AND ENTER THE MCDONALDS RESTAURANT, TALKING
LOUDLY AND REAKING OF SOME STRANGE SMELL THAT AUTOMATICALLY MAKES THE OLD
COUPLE SITTING BY THE DOOR LEAVE. IF ONE OF THOSE PIMPLY-FACED GOONS IS
WIPING THE FLOOR, THEN TRACK SOME CRAP ALL OVER IT (YOU COULD PRETEND TO
SLIP AND BREAK YOUR HEAD, BUT YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY DO SO).
NEXT, BEFORE YOU GET THE FOOD, FIND A TABLE. START YELLING AND RELEASING
SOME STRANGE BODY ODOR SO =ANYBODY= WOULD LEAVE THEIR TABLE AND WALK OUT
THE DOOR. SIT 2 FRIENDS THERE, AND GO UP TO THE COUNTER WITH ANOTHER.
FIND A PLACE WHERE THE LINE IS SHORT, OR IF THE LINE IS LONG SAY "I ONLY
WANNA BUY A COKE" AND YOU GET MOVED UP. NOW, YOU GET TO DO THE =ORDERING=
...HEH HEH HEH. SOMEBODY =ALWAYS= MUST WANT A PLAIN
HAMBURGER WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ON IT (THIS TAKES EXTRA TIME TO MAKE, AND
DRIVES THE LITTLE HAMBURGER-MAKERS INSANE)..ORDER A 9-PACK OF CHICKEN
MCNUGGETS...NO, A 20 PACK...NO, THREE 6 PACKS...WAIT...GO BACK TO THE TABLE
AND ASK WHO WANTS WHAT. YOUR OTHER FRIEND WAITS BY THE COUNTER AND MAKES A
PASS AT THE FEMALE CLERK. GET BACK TO THE THING AND ORDER THREE 6-PACKS OF
CHICKEN ETC....NOW SHE SAYS "WHAT KIND OF SAUCE WOULD YOU LIKE?".OF COURSE,
SAY THAT YOU ALL WANT BARBECUE SAUCE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS WANTS 2 (ONLY IF
THERE ARE ONLY 2 CONTAINERS OF BARBECUE SAUCE LEFT).THEN THEY HAFTA GO INTO
THE STOREROOM AND OPEN UP ANOTHER BOX. FINALLY, THE DRINKS...SOMEBODY WANTS
COKE, SOMEBODY ROOT BEER, AND SOMEBODY DIET COKE. AFTER THESE ARE DELIVERED,
BRING THEM BACK AND SAY "I DIDN'T ORDER A DIET COKE! I ORDERED A SPRITE!"
THIS GETS THEM MAD; BETTER YET, TURN DOWN SOMETHING TERRIBLE THAT NOBODY
WANTS TO DRINK, SO THEY HAFTA THROW THE DRINK AWAY; THEY CAN'T SELL IT.
AFTER ALL THE FOOD(?) IS HANDED TO YOU, YOU MUST =NEVER= HAVE ENOUGH MONEY
TO PAY. THE CLERK WILL BE SO ANGRY AND CONFUSED THAT SHE'LL LET YA GET
AWAY WITH IT (ANOTHER INFLUENCE ON HER IS YOUR FRIEND ASKING HER "IF YOU
LET US GO I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU" AND GIVING HER A FAKE FONE NUMBER).
NOW, BACK TO YOUR TABLE. BUT FIRST, SOMEBODY LIKES KETCHUP AND MUSTARD.
AND PLENTY (TOO MUCH) OF NAPKINS. OH, AND SOMEBODY LIKES FORKS AND KNIVES,
SO ALWAYS END UP BREAKING THE ONES YOU PICK OUTTA THE BOX. HAVE YOUR
FRIENDS YELL OUT,"YAY!!!!! WE HAVE MUNCHIES!!" AS LOUD AS THEY CAN.
THAT'LL WORRY THE ENTIRE RESTAURANT. PROCEED TO SIT DOWN. SO, YOU ARE
SITTING IN THE SMOKING SECTION (BY ACCIDENT) EH? WELL, WHILE ONE OF THE
TOBACCO-BREATHERS ISN'T LOOKING, PUT A SIGN FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE
ROOM SAYING "DO NOT SMOKE HERE" AND HE'LL HAFTA MOVE...THEN HE GOES INTO
THE REAL NON-SMOKING SECTION, AND GETS YELLED AT. HE THEN THINKS THAT
NO SMOKING IS ALLOWED IN THE RESTAURANT, SO HE EATS OUTSIDE (IN THE POUR-
ING RAIN) AFTER YOUR MEAL IS FINISHED (AND QUITE A FEW SPLATTERED-OPENED
KETCHUP PACKETS ARE ALL OVER YER TABLE), TRY TO LEAVE. BUT OOPS! SOMEBODY
HAS TO DO HIS DUTY IN THE MEN'S ROOM. AS HE GOES THERE, HE STICKS AN
UNEATED HAMBURGGR (WOULD YOU DARE TO EAT ONE OF THEIR HAMBURGERS?)
INSIDE THE TOILET, FLUSHES IT A WHILE,UNTIL IT RUNS ALL OVER THE BATHROOM.
OOPS! SEND A PIMPLY-FACED TEENAGER TO CLEAN IT UP. (HE WON'T KNOW THAT
BROWN THING IS A HAMBURGER, AND HE'LL GET SICK. WHEEE!)
AS YOU LEAVE THE RESTCURANT, LOOKING BACK AT YOUR UNCLEANED TABLE, SOMEBODY
MUST REMEMBER THAT THEY LEFT THEIR CHOCOLATE SHAKE THERE! THE ONE THAT'S
ALMOST FULL!!!! HE TAKES IT THEN SAYS "THIS TASTES LIKE CRAP!", THEN HE
TAKES OFF THE LID AND THROWS IT INTO THE GARBAGE CAN...OOPS! HE MISSED,
AND NOW THE SAME POOR SOUL WHO'S CLEANING UP THE BATHROOM NOW HASTA CLEAN
UP CHOCOLATE SHAKE. THEN LEAVE THE JOINT, REVERSING THE "YES, WE'RE OPEN"
SIGN (AS A REMINDER OF YER VISIT THERE YOU HAVE IT! YOU HAVE JUST PUT
ALL OF MCDONALDS INTO COMPLETE MAYHEM. AND SINCE THERE IS NO PENALTY FOR
LITTERING IN A RESTAURANT, BUGGING PEOPLE IN A PUBLIC EATERY (OR
THROW-UPERY, IN THIS CASE) YOU GET OFF SCOT-FREE. WASN'T THAT FUN?





                   Note: are you tired of downloading rC-releases
                          with loads and loads of unuseful texts?
        Switch to ASCII UPLOAD instead!

             Now we don't have much to say left igjen men
              likevel, stem p SAND 3 nr du har sjansen,
                 vi trenger pengene eller livet.
